implicit art

DISCLAIMER: I have a feeling that Nat is going to hate this post.

If you know me (and if you’re reading this then you probably don’t), you know I am no flag-waving patriot. That said, there is no debate that bores me more than the ongoing one about the cultural supremacy of the USA, like it’s some big freaking crisis that everyone loves our movies.

In the latest sortie by the cultural has-beens of Europe and the also-rans of everywhere else, UNESCO voted just shy of unanimously for an exception to international trade accords (“accord” – n. – def. we freaking agreed to this already!) in order to allow for protection of domestic cultural content against a preponderance of outside (read: U.S.) material. Naturally, the US strenuously objected on the grounds of free trade agreements of various forms the world over.

I am going to mock and deride the UNESCO decision on two fronts: economic and cultural.

First, Economic. Look, the US may be the biggest economy in the world and we may be gigantic slimeballs in a lot of ways, but the simple fact of the matter is that we keep the rest of the world in business. We are net importers of, well, just about everything. Industry planetwide (that is, jobs) gets paid for by the US hunger for… umm… everything. That said, one of the few areas in which we do export more than we import (and we export a lot more) is cultural content. Movies, TV shows, music and even a fair number of books. We make a lot of money around the world on our cultural works. Cut us some slack! We need to be a net exporter of

something

for God’s sake!

Second, cultural. I’m sorry, but any culture that has to protect itself might as well just throw in the towel. It is the nature of history for cultures to rise and fall. For cultures to lead, to matter and for other cultures (that once led) to go gently into that good night, crying a little feebly as they disappear because people once cared – really. Well, they don’t any more. So sorry. Now hush.

Take heart! Someday, the US won’t make the movies everyone wants to see anymore, but, for now, we do. Deal with it. If people in your country like our stuff better than yours, its for a simple reason: our stuff is more interesting. Our artists are better.

And spare me the McCulture garbage, thank you very much. Yes, this is the home of movies with Queen Latifah and Keanu Reeves. But this is also the home of Tim Burton and Marin Scorcese. Yes, we gave you Danielle Steele, but we also gave you James Baldwin, Emerson and John Steinbeck. We may be the home of the Back Street Boys, but we’re also the home of Dylan.

Yeah, that’s right: Dylan. Take that.

We also happen to be the place that came up with great ideas like comic books, blues music, rock-n-roll, cartoons, cinema itself and a little gadget you might have heard of called the World Wide Web. The Moog Synthesizer? Oh yeah, the was us, too. Try to keep up, world. We’re cooking over here.

Look, it doesn’t even matter. The market will out on this even if the WTO doesn’t take UNESCO’s proposal and use it to smack the body like the impertinent little crybaby it is (the US pays for 25% of its budget, b t w ). People like American stuff and, say what you will, snobs of the world, that’s because a lot of it is really good. Some of it is good because it is super fun eye candy. Some of it is good because it is thought provoking and engaging. Either way, it’s good.

Deal.

Post-script: just so long as we’re clear, I mock cultural whiners at home, too. There’s nothing I like more than going to a show put on by a “Preservation Society,” trying to keep people interested in some artform, language or subject that no one has any interest in anymore. I find it really funny when compulsive people waste their time on futile little efforts like that. Hey, long live puppetry, right?